


(mis)heard

by randomtuna13 (belindarimbi13)



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Ambiguous SFW, Eventual Fluff, M/M, Misunderstandings, Not What It Looks Like, Self-Indulgent
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-27
Updated: 2019-08-27
Packaged: 2020-09-27 10:26:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,779
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20406199
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/belindarimbi13/pseuds/randomtuna13
Summary: "I don't think I have a gag reflex."And long story short, Aziraphale choked on his tea.





	(mis)heard

**Author's Note:**

  * For [heartoffangirl](https://archiveofourown.org/users/heartoffangirl/gifts).
  * A translation of [salah dengar](https://archiveofourown.org/works/20393002) by [randomtuna13 (belindarimbi13)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/belindarimbi13/pseuds/randomtuna13). 

> **Disclaimer & Note:**
> 
>   * Good Omens is a novel by Terry Pratchett and Neil Gailman, adapted into a TV series by BBC and Amazon Prime and directed by Douglas MacKinnon.
> 
>   * The author does not take any material profits by writing this fanfiction.
> 
>   * For Atsui, the moral support of my life

"I don't think I have a gag reflex."

And long story short, Aziraphale choked on his tea.

Not that he intended to eavesdrop! Not at all! Because, if you think about it, Aziraphale was not even in the wrong place, let alone the wrong time. He was in his own shop. Aziraphale was supposed to be here.

That afternoon, he did not expect any other guest or visitor. Aziraphale was in the back, to grab a cup of tea he made before Crowley came. However, after ten minutes of searching fruitlessly, he remembered that he put his mug near the bookshelf because earlier he was there to find something to read.

Only one sip, then he heard Crowley said such a taboo. Aziraphale miracled himself to suppress the red flush of embarrassment upon his face. He gulped, nervously.

_Anyone who talked to Crowley—_

"Are you serious?"

Aziraphale stepped back from showing himself.

It was Anathema.

"Yeah, I even tried to swallow a spoon to prove it. Let's just say that I don't need to exercise. I have a natural talent."

_Crowley talked about that sort of thing with a woman? _Aziraphale didn't mean to be hysterical, but come on.

Crowley had said that before they have sex, Aziraphale had to educate himself first, because _believe me, angel, of course I want to do everything with you, but you should know what you're doing_. Aziraphale assured him, he was ready to learn everything with Crowley. The demon just smirked—sly and seductive at the same time, '_you know how to please me?_' and that was enough to make Aziraphale flustered, rendered him speechless as Crowley holding him close, too smug with himself for making his angel embarrassed.

Of course, they didn't do anything that night, but snuggling in each other's arms.

That was two weeks ago.

Since then, Aziraphale always tried to seduce Crowley, so they could get to the next level of touching. Aziraphale has read a lot, now. He understands what to do and what not to do. Aziraphale wouldn't be this irritated with their slow progress, if Crowley actually didn't want to do anything. You know, Crowley's happiness has always been Aziraphale's top priority. But the reason Crowley procrastinated, was not because he didn't want to do it, but because that old cunning serpent liked how aggressive Aziraphale was if he didn't get what he wanted.

_A bloody tease, _as Aziraphale liked to refer Crowley in his head.

He had reasons for that, okay?

Look, if you think angels can sense love, then you must know that demons can sense lust.

Aziraphale could feel a wave of affection from Crowley. He could feel it at the randomest times. For example, that one time when Aziraphale feeding the pigeons in the park and talking with them. Or like two days ago, when Aziraphale was dancing with himself while cleaning the bookshelves, unaware of Crowley in the doorway. Until Aziraphale was called to the obvious glimmer of light, pulsing softly—hard to be missed. To think about it, sensing Crowley's love was very easy, because Crowley always looked as if he was overwhelmed by his own feelings.

In a similar context, what Aziraphale could do, Crowley could do it too. It was just ... what Crowley sensed was slightly different.

Like it was said, the angel could feel the love and the demon could feel the lust.

Aziraphale was deeply ashamed of himself at the realisation that he was just as obvious as Crowley and love, when it came to the desire to touch. It had been developing to be an instinct. Especially after they both became more open with their feelings. Aziraphale paid more attention to Crowley ever since: to the contour of his face, his nose and his lips, the curve of his body.

Of Crowley's body, Aziraphale had quite fixation with his flat stomach. Once, he happened to see Crowley's black shirt riding up, when the demon was in an attempt to scare Tia (Aziraphale's cactus), by lifting up the pot and threatening to drop it.

A glimpse of snake tattoo on his navel that nobody knew how far it went down.

_How could I miss _ that _ when we swapped our bodies? _Aziraphale swallowed hard, unable to look away. Crowley caught his staring. His lips formed into a triumphant grin ...

"Like what you see, angel?"

Aziraphale immediately looked away, mumbling something inaudible.

The demon would just laugh and didn't proceed to tempt any further, too busy arguing with Tia who was boldly making fun of him.

But Aziraphale knew, from that moment, Crowley's mind was set to dither him in any way.

Other times, they were both visiting St. James Park, then Crowley offered to buy them ice creams. Aziraphale suspected nothing. He liked ice cream. To enjoy one while sitting and watching the ducks? Delightful.

But, of course the demon he wouldn't be, if Crowley had no plans for temptation. Aziraphale couldn't even remember what his ice cream flavour was, that day. But he remembered some other things pretty vividly: the sight of Crowley’s tongue dancing erotically around his lolly, the ambiguous sucking sound—Crowley could turn such a simple activity into something sinful.

“Angel, your ice cream,” Crowley said, licking the remnants of his red lolly. Aziraphale blinked, realising his hands were now sticky by melting dairy treat. The angel nearly had a heart attack when Crowley leaned over and whispered, "Want me lick it off of you?" But <strike>unfortunately</strike> that bastard had just laughed and leaned back, casually snapping his fingers to resurrect the ice cream..

_Of course, they were all just innuendo—just for the sake of fun, _Aziraphale mused in disappointment. It was true though. While they teased each other, throwing codes and signals, but never once any of it led them to the main show. They could not pass, _what it was that American slang again—something related to baseball_ ... ah yes, they never went further than the second base, touching above the waist.

Now, overhearing Crowley openly discussed, _uhm_ the possibility of passing their third base, Aziraphale couldn't help but hope (though he was also extremely embarrassed that Crowley talked it off with Anathema).

"You've done it before?" Crowley asked.

Anathema responded with laughter. "No, of course not. Newt will be shocked if I swallow a spoon."

"You’re right." Aziraphale could imagine Crowley's grimace. "You know, I think Aziraphale never realise that I don't need to use my teeth for years. I can just open my mouth."

"Practical," said Anathema. "But what if someone sees you?"

Crowley snorted contemptuously. "I'm a demon, humans don’t need to be aware of anything. I'm not even afraid to do it in a public place. I bet they won’t even blink on my performance."

Aziraphale almost stopped breathing. _Oh my goodness, so Crowley's into that sort of thing!_

Anathema groaned. "Gaaaah, but I would pay to watch it."

_WHAT DOES IT MEAN?_

Crowley chuckled. “I don't understand humans. You know, I would expect them to be scared or even disgusted to see that kind of thing, and here you are, getting excited."

Anathema laughed again, then she changed the subject abruptly, as if she suddenly remembered why she came to Aziraphale's bookshop in the first place. "By the way, where is Aziraphale? I'm here because I want to return the book I borrow."

Aziraphale closed his eyes for a moment, attempting to control his face so he wouldn't appear flushed or guilty. He cleared his throat, and stepped out from behind the bookshelf. A cup of tea was lukewarm, on his hands.

"Oh, hello, Anathema," Aziraphale greeted, hoping that a miracle could help him relieve the nervousness. "I heard you want to return the book?"

Anathema nodded, reaching for her sling bag to pull out a thick book with dark green cover. "It really helped me. Thank you, Aziraphale. Do you have the fourth edition?"

Aziraphale and Anathema were chatting for a while about palm-reading and tea leaves, then Aziraphale lent her another book. Not long after, Anathema bid them goodbye and she left.

❇✳❇

Aziraphale locked the front door quietly, after ensuring the closed shop sign had been placed. He inhaled deeply, trying to compose himself and regain control over his beating heart. Aziraphale leaned his forehead against the window, feeling the coolness seeping on his skin.

A pair of arms wrapped around his middle, trapping the angel from behind. Crowley's warm breath tickled his ear.

"You're okay, angel?" The demon nuzzled his neck. "You know, I could feel a residue of passion radiating from you."

Aziraphale felt his face heating up, he knew Crowley smirking on this discovery.

"Well, I'd like to know," The demon inhaled, as if trying to absorb the scent of his angel. "What did you do before you go out to see Anathema?"

There was no answer, saved for the soft grunt. Crowley ran his fingers on Aziraphale's tummy. "Hm?"

"Do you have to talk about it with her?"

Crowley cocked his head, trying to get a look on his face. “Talking about what?"

Aziraphale turned away, avoiding Crowley. "You know what!"

"Angel," began Crowley, trying to spin the angel so that they could face one another. "I don’t know why it upsets you?"

The tone of his statement, turned it into a question. Aziraphale had no idea whether Crowley was joking or not, so he decided not to answer.

"Aziraphale, what do you mean?"

Aziraphale sighed. "Crowley, you should not talk about our sexual affairs with just everyone. I understand you want to talk about it, sometimes I could hardly contain myself. But you know, if you want to share something, you have me. You can talk to me, but not with other people. Somehow, it bothers me. "

Of all the responses he had anticipated, he didn’t expect Crowley's blank stare.

"You don’t understand what I said?"

"Absolutely not."

Aziraphale sighed. "You're talking about the third base with Anathema, Crowley. Even you also implicitly expressed your interest in trying something very taboo."

Crowley didn't say a word ...

... and then he burst out laughing. "You're joking? So—you—really, Aziraphale!"

Aziraphale frowned, displeased that his concern was not considered serious enough "Not funny, Crowley!"

"Oh, no, no, Angel, it's very funny." Crowley smiled. His hands cupped the angel's face. "Do you know what me and Book Girl were talking about?"

"I don’t want to say it explicitly, but I know what you're talking about. Third base, I'm not stupid, Crowley." Aziraphale avoided Crowley's sparkling, mischievous serpentine eyes .

"Oh, Aziraphale," Crowley whispered, pressing their foreheads together. He was smiling so wide, flashing out his white canine—resembled him slightly to a vampire. "Me and Anathema were talking about my snake-like anatomy and behaviour."

"What?" This is absurd. "But ... you mentioned the gag reflex ..."

"Because that is the term and I don't have it. We talked about how Anathema saw me finishing a slice of cake in one swallow at Adam's birthday party. She just realised that I’ve done the same thing several times before.

"And I explained that I don’t particularly enjoy the whole eating slowly and elegantly like you. I don’t like to waste my time memorizing dining etiquette and table manners. I'm a demon after all. I can just unhinge my jaws," Crowley leaned back to demonstrate. "And, hap! My foods are gone. It's that easy, that simple. Anathema wonder if I never choked on them, certainly not because I don’t have any gag reflex. Demon anatomy shouldn’t be observed from human perspective. That's also why I usually make humans ignoring what I do. Their logic will not regard it as something normal. "

Aziraphale blinked. "Oh." His eyes widened dramatically, upon the realisation of how fatal his baseless assumption was. "You mean—"

"That's why I thought it was very funny when you mentioned the third base." Crowley grinned. "You really think I'm going to practise deep-throating with a spoon?"

"Crowley!" Aziraphale scolded, blushing furiously.

The demon chuckled. Then he sighed, before staring at his angel with a serious look. "I'm not going to discuss our relationship with just everyone, Aziraphale, especially not our intimate moments. What happened between you and me, will only stay between us.."

Aziraphale did not answer.

"Angel?"

"I want it, Crowley," Aziraphale whispered. "I want you."

Crowley leaned in to kiss him gently. Aziraphale seized the opportunity to take over the kiss, turning it into the direction he wanted. Crowley was no longer leading the kiss but he would gladly to be led. Aziraphale felt the demon handed over full control to him.

Crowley's hands were still cupping his face, but not with Aziraphale's. His fingers ran over Crowley's red hair, demanding something Crowley would happily provide. The kiss escalated from chaste and soft to increasingly wild in a split-second. When Crowley withdrew himself, his move was responded with a whine.

"We've discussed this before. I want you too. Always." Crowley opened his mouth after getting his breath back. "What makes you think I don’t want you, now?"

"We never get past the second base."

Crowley chuckled involuntarily. "I'm still not used to hear you talking about sex with baseball terms."

Aziraphale swatted his arm. "I'm serious." He turned away. "If you could feel my passion, then you should know that being on your side makes me want to touch you."

"And you can feel," Crowley cleared his throat awkwardly. “my love, angel. You must know how I want to be around you, too."

"I know. I just—I don’t know. I want to combine the two. You know, to make love." Aziraphale touched Crowley's hands. "I really, really want to make love to you, my dear."

For a moment nobody spoke. Aziraphale was almost sure that Crowley was busy thinking of excuses to avoid this conversation, until the demon took a slow breath, his eyes focused on Aziraphale's collar bone rather than on his face. "I just wanted to do this right."

"Do what?"

"Sex," Crowley said. "I want to do it correctly."

"Correctly?"

"I want to make love to you, after we get married."

If it was possible, Aziraphale's eyes got wider. His mind had gone blank, words disappeared completely.

"I've heard that marriage is one of the highest forms for expressing feelings. You promise yourself to your partner, for better or for worse, sick and healthy, forever till death do us part. Having sex for the first time—to make love, after the wedding is a sacred celebration. I want it. Not just for me, but for you as well. You deserve the best of everything, Aziraphale. This is the simplest, the purest, most non-demonic thing I can offer you. " Crowley upped his gaze, the snake eyes meeting the angel's eyes. "Marry me."

Aziraphale couldn't breathe, feeling his chest tightened suddenly. "How long have you thought about it?"

Crowley laughed, but more like he was mocking himself. "You have no idea how long I thought about this, maybe since I first saw you. Of course, what crossed my mind was not this kind of man-made constitution. At that time, I just thought, '_imagine if I could live my existence with this angel_.'" He sighed. "A bit cheeky of me, isn't it?"

"Absolutely not," Aziraphale replied briefly, then reaching out Crowley's neck to kiss him with such vigour. There was nothing sensual in this kiss, but the expression of love, happiness, and gratitude that was hopefully be transmitted through the touch of lips on lips.

"Crowley," Aziraphale called when they pulled back. His hands still wrapped around Crowley's neck and Crowley hands still rested on the Aziraphale's hips.

"Yes, angel?"

Aziraphale smiled blindingly as he rubbed their noses.

"Let's get married."

❇✳❇

_"You mean it?"_

_"Of course!"_

_"Well, maybe you just do it to get a taste of this sexy body."_

_"Crowley! I'm shocked that you imply—"_

_"Frankly, Aziraphale, I'm also shocked you come into conclusion that I would want to do a blowjob in a public place."_

_"You—how—"_

_"Demon, remember? And by the way, if that's what you want to try .."_

_"No!"_

_"Oh, too bad."_

_"I—I can rectify my answer!"_

_"Now, you don’t want to marry me?"_

_"I'm—not—of course, I still want to, don't look at me like that."_

_"Now, what if we have dinner at the Ritz, and then we spend the rest of the night watching telly? Tomorrow, we can visit Anathema and Newton for wedding advice. We also need to pick out our rings, don't we?"_

_"Okay, alright."_

_"Crowley, we are really going to get married."_

_"Isn't it exciting? You could drag me to bed whenever you want, after we officially become husbands."_

_"Crowley!"_

• **fin •**

**Author's Note:**

> > The headcanon of angel sensing love and demon sensing lust is based on [ this beautiful fanart](https://khiroptera.tumblr.com/post/186963975040/if-aziraphale-can-sense-love-i-want-crowley), please check it out! ♥
>> 
>> [ Baseball metaphors for sex ](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Baseball_metaphors_for_sex),
>> 
>> ★ Adam's birthday fic and more Anathema? [[🎁](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19458424)]
>> 
>> ★ Want to know more about Tia's story? [[🌵]](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19663564)
>> 
>> ★ How about planning the first date? [[💡]](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19909429)
>> 
>> ★ Insecure!Aziraphale & some comfort reading? [[🐨]](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19328596)
>> 
>> ★ Enjoy this story? Consider checking [my other GO fanfics](https://archiveofourown.org/works?utf8=%E2%9C%93&work_search%5Bsort_column%5D=revised_at&work_search%5Bother_tag_names%5D=&work_search%5Bexcluded_tag_names%5D=&work_search%5Bcrossover%5D=&work_search%5Bcomplete%5D=&work_search%5Bwords_from%5D=&work_search%5Bwords_to%5D=&work_search%5Bdate_from%5D=&work_search%5Bdate_to%5D=&work_search%5Bquery%5D=&work_search%5Blanguage_id%5D=1&commit=Sort+and+Filter&fandom_id=114591&pseud_id=randomtuna13&user_id=belindarimbi13) 😄
> 
> Atsui knows how much I love flustered!Crowley but here's what you may call an accidental fic, because I accidentally write him the other way around.
> 
> This was written to celebrate my pseud's anniversary <strike>yes, I'm that extra</strike>🎉 4 years! I hope I could be better writer 💙
> 
> This was also dedicated for Atsui, without her I wouldn't write this much for this beloved fandom. I owe you so much, thank you for being my muse and my moral support 💙
> 
> Thank you for reading! Kudos and reviews will always lighten up my dull days ♥


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